Life Advice



Single File: That Age Thing, Reversed

Susan Dietz on

DEAR SUSAN: Here's the thing about older women with younger lovers: He's as much a predator as she is! He wants her to teach him the ways of sex. He wants her to teach him what a younger woman probably can't. But then, when he's learned her sexual technique, he most likely will go on to marry someone more appropriate -- a younger woman. So, actually, the cougar is also being used and discarded. She borrows his youthful stamina for a while, but he is learning sex skills for use with a younger partner.

DEAR BLOGGER: Use and be used -- the wheel goes 'round and 'round. Where it stops, no one can predict. But every once in a while, the wheel lands on a lucky spot, and then all sorts of good things can happen. An older woman and a younger man, at first out for a good time and sex education, could then find themselves in a tailspin, surprised by deep emotions never before felt. That kind of pairing makes great sense because the female matures sexually around 30, the male at 18! And while good sex isn't enough to sustain a relationship for the long haul, the compatibility that develops between partners can, at times, lead to an overarching ease in other parts of their lives. When the sex is between friends, such an evolution is possible, a progression to be devoutly wished (sigh).

DEAR SUSAN: Wanted you to know I'm still old and single. Old isn't for sissies. Ditto being single. A favorite saying of mine, sent your way years ago: "Romance without humor is like sex with dignity." (I still hope for sex with a gal who does her share of the wanting.) And, actually, I've been getting more impromptu conversation with women at the store, senior center, coffee house, etc., lately. Why is this happening? And believe it or not, with a "Trump 2016" ball cap on my head! As my old Uncle Melvin used to say: "One never knows, does one? And even when you know, one can never be sure."

DEAR BLOGGER: One thing's certain, friend: The light touch, a bit of humor showing you don't take yourself too seriously, is a good starting point. Where it leads from there is anyone's guess, but the point is you've done your part; you've opened the door to further conversation -- and possibilities. In this culture, that's not easily done. And the funny part? You had no idea when you put on the cap that you were opening doors to nice people and innocent banter. That, to me, is the most wonderful part -- that this entire interaction had no purpose behind it. (I love that!) You thought you were only putting on a cap. The rest is fun and neighborliness. This is an election year, a perfectly innocent way to meet good people who care about their government and are willing to make an effort to make changes in that direction. So many places will open and need manning: campaign storefronts, volunteer groups, phone banks, leaflet distribution centers. The only things necessary to become part of a campaign are energy and willingness to work. The best part of campaign work? Meeting people with a shared interest. The rest, as they say, is history. Make some today -- maybe with something as prepossessing as a ball cap. Go!



We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks - in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at



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