Life Advice



Prospective Employee Weighs Friend's Advice

Harriette Cole on

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend told me not to accept a job offer at her current company because she is miserable there. She told me that she is overworked and grossly undercompensated. If I accept the job, I will be working in the same department as her and receiving the same pay. Should I listen to her? This has been my first job offer since last year. -- Job Advice

DEAR JOB ADVICE: Talk to your friend again and ask a few more questions. Find out what, exactly, is making her miserable. Is someone doing something specific that offends or belittles her? What is her daily schedule like? Why does she feel overworked? Find out as much as you can so that your assessment is as clear as possible.

If you need this job, make sure you weigh that need into your decision. Since this is the only job offer you have had in a long time, it may be that the risk is worth taking. You can go in with your eyes open, knowing that this may not be the easiest decision you have made. You must also remember that you are not your friend. Don't look for trouble. Be optimistic. You also will need to manage your friend. Let her know if you decide to take it. Tell her your reasons and ask for her support. Do not commiserate with her about work. Stay positive and professional.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hosted a Thanksgiving dinner party at my house with my entire family and a few friends. I have friends and family of all ages, and I wanted everyone to be safe, so it was mandatory that everyone send their vaccination card beforehand. A friend I invited shared with me a few days ago that her vaccination card was actually a fraud. I'm furious with her. She not only lied to me, but she jeopardized the health and safety of all of my friends and family members at the party. I don't know that I'll ever be able to forgive her for this. Should I end my friendship with her? -- Fake Card

DEAR FAKE CARD: Sadly, your friend is one among a growing number of people who are securing and using fake vaccination cards to navigate their lives. It is reprehensible and unforgivable, from my perspective.

Do you end your friendship? I would say you can put it on ice for now. You are correct that she jeopardized your health and that of your guests. She was selfish and dishonest. You can tell her you need to step away from her because she has broken your trust.


Remain aware that during these challenging times of the pandemic -- which is very much still with us -- you will encounter others who will knowingly or innocently expose you to this disease. You have to figure out the level of precaution that you will follow to protect yourself. Even requiring a negative COVID-19 test within 72 hours isn't a guarantee of safety. The bigger issue here is the deception. That is something you should face head-on with this friend.


(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)






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