Dishonesty On Resume Leads To Stress At Work
DEAR HARRIETTE: I lied on my resume to get my new job, and now I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I've been winging it every day since I started. The money I'm making now is far too good to walk away from, and I really enjoy what I do, but every day I'm afraid that someone is going to notice that I don't belong here. Should I stay until I figure it out? Should I tell a work colleague? -- In Too Deep
DEAR IN TOO DEEP: If you are not exaggerating and you literally do not know what you are doing, now is the time to ask for help. Have you made friends with any of your colleagues? If you have a trusted confidant, talk to that person. Do not reveal that you lied. Instead, point to what you do not understand and ask for guidance on how to handle that task. If you are sincere in your request and ready to jump in and learn, you may get a pass.
Independently, start reading about the work that you do. Go to YouTube University, as many fondly call it, to learn everything you can about how to do your job. Be proactive. That may end up being your saving grace.
If you are confronted by a manager or someone else who seriously questions your capabilities, you may have to confess that you are in over your head. Declare that you want to be good at your job and are doing all that you can to get up to speed -- and you need help.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend talks way more than she listens. I feel like we are constantly talking about her issues, and she rarely cares about what's going on in my life. We both had job interviews on the same day, and afterward we talked about her interview the entire time -- she didn't even ask about mine. Is this a friendship worth holding on to? -- One-Sided Friend
DEAR ONE-SIDED FRIEND: How often do you call your friend on her selfishness? Now is the time to clearly let her know what you have observed. Tell her that you have noticed a pattern in your relationship that you do not appreciate -- that she does all the talking and rarely seems to care about what you are going through. Give her concrete examples, such as the debrief after your job interviews. Have two more examples handy so that she can't write that one off as an anomaly.
Then, tell her what you want. Ask her to listen to you when you talk. Request that she not interrupt or change the subject when you are attempting to get a point across. Tell her that the way she can actually be your best friend is to listen more and talk less.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to email@example.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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