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Late Grad Wants To Support Classmates

Harriette Cole on

DEAR HARRIETTE: It doesn't look like I'm going to graduate on time. I'm a few credits short, and my graduation is next week. I can take the classes over the summer and be finished by fall, but I will miss the ceremony and will not be able to walk across the stage with my friends. Of course, I'm sad and a little bit embarrassed. I want to avoid the ceremony altogether since I won't be able to participate in it, but I know that it's important for me to show up in support of all my friends who are graduating. I am afraid that when I get there I'm going to be really emotional and bitter. How can I put the bitterness aside and show up for my friends? -- Resentful

DEAR RESENTFUL: You must first deal with your reality. You have known for a while that you weren't going to be able to graduate this year. You need to accept that and decide on your plan for the future. When the path forward is clear, it will make it easier to face your friends.

Putting on your friend hat, if you can muster up the courage, you should go to their graduation and the subsequent festivities. Honor them by showing up where you can. You probably won't have to talk about yourself much. They will be excited about their big day, as will their families. Let them talk about themselves. If you are asked about your plans, be prepared to share them -- you intend to finish your final credits over the summer and ... ? Figure out what you plan to do next so that you can say it out loud.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend keeps loaning people money and not getting it back. I don't understand why he keeps doing it, knowing that the outcome usually isn't the best. He's a very thoughtful person and tries to be as helpful as he can, but I feel like I'm watching him get walked all over. I don't want to tell him what he can and cannot do with his money, but I feel like it's just common sense at this point. What can I say to him to convince him to stop basically giving his money away? -- Say No

DEAR SAY NO: Instead of telling your boyfriend what to do, encourage him to think of other ways to invest his money. Suggest that the two of you start researching ways to build wealth and help others. Since your boyfriend is naturally generous, mention some organizations that help people or other causes that he cares about. He may want to consider donating a certain amount of money each year to a charity that matches his interests.

Also, research financial advisers and suggest he get a consultation with one to talk about his money and the future. Start creating wealth-building strategies now that will pay off later on. By tying up key dollars today, your boyfriend will have less liquid money to bail people out, and he will probably begin to be more confident in his ability to support causes that he deems worthy, particularly those with a potentially robust return on investment.

 

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

COPYRIGHT 2021 HARRIETTE COLE

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION FOR UFS

 

 

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