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Help! Some People Use Social Media Differently Than I Do!

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin on

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I often enjoy the social media posts of family and friends. Typically, I post two or three times a month: almost always a personal picture or throwback photo describing something positive like a fun outing, celebration, birthday or anniversary.

However, I am becoming increasingly dismayed by the way some friends use social media. Some post multiple times a day (too much!), while others use it as a platform to promote their political views and favorite charity organizations. Although these posts often reflect my own views and affinities, I still find them tiresome.

I also find it curious that these constant posters rarely notice my personal posts. Maybe I'm not looking at this correctly, but I see social media as a way of connecting with family and friends, not as a vehicle for divisiveness.

I see it as a give-and-take. Ideally, we would both notice, like and sometimes comment on one another's posts. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: That the world would be a better place if social media were used -- or even intended to be used -- as you described. The choice of verbs on social media seems, to Miss Manners, to demonstrate a decidedly unsocial intent. Those truly inviting dialogue will speak, question, or even send -- as in mail. Those issuing proclamations they intend to be read and obeyed by the peasantry, post.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When not in use, are dining chairs to be pushed in so that they are touching the table?

GENTLE READER: It may give a neater look to the table, which makes it an issue for the hostess. Miss Manners only gets involved if the alternative is calling an ambulance for Grandpa Kevin, whose eyesight is not his strongest feature.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My neighbor, whom I have known for a few years, called to offer me a ticket she had purchased to an event that she could no longer attend due to a conflict in her schedule. I gladly accepted and was looking forward to attending. I asked her if she wanted me to reimburse her, and she said no, that she was giving it to me.

On the day of the event, she called to tell me she would be keeping her ticket, as her conflict had been resolved. She kept saying that she was sorry for the confusion, but as she was now able to attend, she was keeping her ticket.

 

I just told her to enjoy herself and that I understood, and got off the phone. Personally, I am not feeling good about the turn of events. It has left a bad taste in my mouth.

GENTLE READER: Understandably. Giving a gift and then demanding it back requires a great deal of apology, as it ought not to be done.

And your neighbor did not even do that. She apologized for nonexistent confusion, implying -- with neither grace nor truth -- that there was shared blame. Although Miss Manners is not one to pick fights, she will not be volunteering to look after this neighbor's plants or collect her mail anytime soon.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

COPYRIGHT 2022 JUDITH MARTIN

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

COPYRIGHT 2022 JUDITH MARTIN
 

 

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