Life Advice

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Health

Ladies And Gentlemen: Inclusive Alternatives Abound

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin on

With COVID, there were no funerals or visitations, so I sent personal notes to the bereaved, sometimes in lieu of a donation and sometimes in addition. In almost every case, I got a note back, thanking me for my note.

In the future, do I need to send a note if I receive a note, or is it simply that so few people send notes these days that the bereaved feel compelled to thank me for writing?

GENTLE READER: Has the word note come to replace letter, the way people no longer speak of mothers but only of moms?

If you mean simply taking note of a death -- such as the horrible habit of attaching a like to the news -- it does not require a response. But letters of condolence, expressing sympathy with appreciation of the deceased, have always had to be answered. To those who consider it a burden on the bereaved, Miss Manners points out that it is a courtesy performed on behalf of those they lost, as well as encouragement for continued kindness to the grieving.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

COPYRIGHT 2021 JUDITH MARTIN

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

COPYRIGHT 2021 JUDITH MARTIN
 

 

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