Women Should Simply Tell Harassers To Stop
Miss Manners agrees that it is better for people who want to help to be specific -- asking whether, for example, they could drop off food or run errands -- in order to overcome the reluctance of polite people to impose, even when in need.
Evidently, you are not one of those people. To meet kind intentions with the suggestion that your wife's friends become drudges because you choose not to handle the simple tasks of everyday life both insults them and reveals a great deal about you.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Just wondering if it is proper etiquette for the groom's mother (who is paying for nothing for the wedding) to provide a wedding cake in the shape of a chef's coat. The groom is a chef, the bride is not.
I am the MOB who has been forbidden to discuss this with the MOG.
GENTLE READER: Forbidden by whom -- your daughter, who doesn't mind, or who can't see that it is worth fussing about?
Then don't. Or call it the Groom's Cake and supply another pastry in the form of your daughter's career.
Contrary to custom, weddings are not a good time to begin family hostilities. And Miss Manners suggests you drop the notion that these events provide the opportunity to purchase privileges.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, firstname.lastname@example.org; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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