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'Allowed' Is Not The Word You're Looking For

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin on

But Miss Manners does not recommend engaging with intrusive know-it-alls. While it may be tempting to teach such people a lesson, they are unlikely to be listening. If you cannot simply ignore that taunt, she suggests merely saying, Well, I am, before moving on.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Why not put out the spoons and allow guests to decide which utensils they'll use? Regardless of the menu, not everyone has the same definitions of fork- and spoon-worthy foods -- and the same goes for knives.

GENTLE READER: Are you mad? Don't you think that etiquette suffers enough from the idea that choosing the correct flatware is a sly test designed to humiliate the uninformed?

Miss Manners' vehement defense is that only the utensils useful for the meal are provided, that they are placed in outside-to-inside order of use, and that other diners should mind their own meals and not monitor anyone else -- except their minor children, who should also be taught not to sniff at well-meaning people.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

COPYRIGHT 2021 JUDITH MARTIN

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

COPYRIGHT 2021 JUDITH MARTIN
 

 

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