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Boundaries in Friendship and at Home

Annie Lane on

Dear Annie: I am writing in response to the letter about the friend who was snubbed and not invited to join the group. True friendship is built on respect, kindness and mutual support, not on dismissive or hurtful behavior. The writer sounds like a thoughtful and sensitive person, someone who values meaningful connections, and they deserve friendships that are nurturing and reciprocal.

In situations like this, it's best to let go of the hurt by forgiving the person -- not necessarily for their sake, but for your own peace of mind. Holding on to resentment only deepens the wound. Forgive them, wish them well and move on, knowing that you're making space in your life for people who genuinely appreciate you. Sometimes, outgrowing certain relationships is a natural part of life, and it can lead to finding deeper and more fulfilling connections.

As painful as it might be, it's important to recognize when it's time to release a so-called friendship that no longer serves you. Pray for the snubber, forgive them, and focus your energy on the friendships that uplift and nourish your spirit. -- Forgiveness Is a Gift

Dear Forgiveness: I'm printing your thoughtful letter because it highlights the importance of forgiveness, not just for the sake of the person who wronged you, but for your own mental and emotional well-being. Thank you for sharing your insights into one of my favorite subjects -- the power of forgiveness.

Dear Annie: We recently moved into a new house, and within just three months, we've had a parade of solicitors knocking on our door or ringing our doorbell. After the sixth one, I became so frustrated that I started using the Ring app on my phone to respond to them remotely because I simply didn't want to deal with it anymore.

However, if I ignore them, they often come back later! It's like they don't understand -- or care -- that they're not welcome.

To try to solve the problem, we even went out and purchased several "No Trespassing" and "No Solicitation" signs, which are clearly visible from the street. And yet, despite these signs, they still have the nerve to walk right onto our property and ring the doorbell! I don't understand -- what is wrong with these people? Can't they respect our privacy and follow the obvious signs?

 

It's becoming more than just a nuisance; it's genuinely unsettling. There's something about strangers knocking on your door uninvited that makes you feel unsafe in your own home. These solicitors are even worse than junk mail or email spammers because, unlike an unwanted message in my inbox, they're physically intruding on my personal space. I don't think these people realize just how intrusive and inappropriate their actions feel.

Please, help spread the word that most of us don't want strangers showing up at our doorstep uninvited. It's not only annoying but also disturbing to have to deal with this constantly. -- Sick of Solicitors

Dear Sick of Solicitors: If you have already put up signs and asked the solicitors to stop, then at that point they are trespassing on your property. Next time you face this issue, consider asking your neighbors what they do. You might even band together and see if the police can enforce a no-solicitation policy in your neighborhood.

With everything you're bombarded with outside your home, you absolutely have the right to protect the peace and sanctity inside your home.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.


 

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