Life Advice



Inspiration for Introverts

Annie Lane on

Dear Annie: The best wisdom my mother gave me about dealing with the death of our pets was this: Our pets live shorter lives than us so we can have more lovely ones. -- Wisdom

Dear Wisdom: That is really sweet. Thank you for sharing.

Dear Annie: I regret not visiting my mother enough when she was alive.

I was a "very busy, always working" daughter. When my mother suddenly died, I had neglected spending time with her and have regretted it now for almost 30 years. But at the time, I was just living day to day, trying to be everything to everyone and meet multiple demands. I was overwhelmed with work and parenting responsibilities and also focused on trying to ease her own loneliness, though I just didn't have the time that she wanted. -- Regret Not Spending Time With Mom

Dear Regret: Thank you for your honest, reflective letter. Hope that it helps others out there hug their loved ones a little closer and/or make that phone call or book that trip to visit Grandma or Grandpa. Please try to let yourself off the hook. You did the best you could, and from your letter, it sounds as if you had a wonderful mother, because you are a very thoughtful person.

Dear Annie: I want to tell you about a wonderful coincidence in my life that involves your column. I read your answer to "Wanting More" about the mom who wished her daughter were more available. I wish my daughter called more, too.

I underlined the part about accepting your daughter for who she is, and suddenly the phone rang. It was my daughter, and we had a lovely conversation. My higher power is out there! -- Coincidence

Dear Coincidence: Thank you for sharing your wonderful letter. Your intention is beautiful.


Dear Annie: I thoroughly support the comments and book recommendation made by "Enjoying my Life," not just for extroverts who want to understand their introverted loved ones better, but for introverts as well.

I am now retired after working for 39 years as an engineer in a corporate world where the extroverts dominated. It also didn't help that I was a female in a male-dominated profession. Partway through my career, I discovered Susan Cain's book, "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking." This book has been the most influential book I have ever read because it allowed me to accept myself for who I am and to realize that there are others like me. It made me a better manager and leader in my organization, as I recognized those like me, and knew how to draw out the best in them.

I have even given this book to a new manager in my organization, an introvert like myself. For those who are short on time, Susan Cain also has a Ted Talk. -- Comfortable in My Introvert Skin

Dear Comfortable in Introvert Skin: Thank you for recommending the Ted Talk and book. I applaud your exploration of self-discovery, which led to success in your career and in life.


"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to




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