Disapproval Might Be a Dealbreaker
Dear Annie: I was in an abusive relationship for over seven years, still legally married but separated with a four-year restraining order. I have been with my current boyfriend for over three years. The first two years we lived together, and then COVID-19 struck, and we have been living apart for over a year.
My problem is that his father, sister and brother are so against our relationship that we have to hide it.
I have never shown any type of disrespect or done anything that I am aware of that has caused their hatred of me. When I visited his father's residence, I was told that if I ever stepped on his property again, he would call the police and have me removed.
His sister lives right next door; it's a duplex, and she has called their father to report that I was there. When we visited his mother, his brother said that if I were to continue to be brought there, he would have his name taken off the lease and move out. I get along with his mom and don't want to put any more strain on her.
I love my boyfriend, but this is becoming ridiculous that we have to sneak around. I'm 49, and he is 38. The only explanation I've gotten is that I make them on edge. I have never tried putting them on edge, but I've also heard their negative opinions of me and seen how they treat my boyfriend.
Help -- we don't know what to do anymore. -- Unaccepted by His Family
Dear Unaccepted: If your boyfriend is not sticking up for you to his parents, then this might not be the right relationship for you. He is 38 years old. I'm not really sure why he needs his family's approval of you, but it sounds like he does and that they don't approve. So, either he makes that right, or you find a new boyfriend.
Dear Readers: Below are a few of my favorite motivational quotes to begin each day or to boost your mood anytime you need a little lift in your energy. They highlight the importance of gratitude, kindness, exercise, being in nature and being in tune with your heart.
"An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day." -- Henry David Thoreau.
"Every morning was a cheerful invitation to make my life of equal simplicity, and I may say innocence, with Nature herself." -- Henry David Thoreau
"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson.
"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.