Life Advice



Keep Holding On

Annie Lane on

Dear Annie: My wife said that you would never print this letter because the subject matter was not worth your time, but I'm going to try it out anyway. For the past six months, my wife and I have saved $5,000 to have our basement redone. We have four children. Given the current political situations, I asked if instead we could use some of that money as a protection shelter should there ever be a nuclear bomb. She said if life gets to that point, she would rather die with her fellow Americans than live in a shelter. -- Just trying to prepare

Dear Prepare: I tend to look at the glass half-full and believe that would not happen. But with all that being said, I am a strong advocate for readiness. Better to be prepared and never have to use it than to not be prepared and not have it. Perhaps you could compromise and build a shelter into the basement.

Dear Annie: So many things have happened to me and my family in the last 10 years that I have often felt the same way as "Holding On," the woman who is contemplating suicide. Please, please let her know that she is loved and things will get better. My husband of 20 years left me for someone who looked so much like me that I was stopped on a daily basis asking if I was her sister. We had five kids that I was raising pretty much by myself, and he cleaned our accounts out, and I was left with all the bills and absolutely no direction. I talked with my pastor, and he helped me understand it was not me at all.

This woman has given everything of herself for so long that she is completely broken now, but she WILL find something better. It's just soooo hard to see it now.

I found it helped me to help someone else whenever I could. I started my day asking to be led to whomever may need a positive interaction. It could be a smile, helping someone pay for their $9 total whose card had failed in front of me, or just listening to someone who needed it. I realized a lot of people felt like I did and that we all have down times and good times.

Don't focus on the bad. Just think of one good thing that can happen or one small way you can help humanity, and after five, 10 or 20 little "blessings," you will feel so much better.


My ex felt so guilty about how things had gone that he eventually passed away due to self-inflicted wounds. I always tried to support him and am now raising all the kids after all that happened, but they have the most amazing outlook in life. They just want to help and make others feel appreciated.

You are an amazing person with so much to offer. Please don't do anything to hurt yourself. We are praying for you and sending loving vibes your direction. -- You Are Not Alone

Dear Not Alone: Thank you so much for your letter. I can feel your love and caring through your words. I hope it reaches "Holding On" and anyone else who is suffering in a similar situation.


"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to




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