Dear Annie: I am writing to you because I am desperate to find the answer to my problem, which is similar to other letters I have seen in your column.
I went through a divorce a year ago. My 68-year-old ex-husband loved gazing at young women whenever we went out in public. He always said he would never trade me for the world. But he loved the attention of young women, and he loved staring at them. He would always take me to a mall and give me money to buy clothes at a young women's clothing store. While I shopped and tried on clothes, he would sit and stare at the girls. We got divorced eventually.
Now, one year after our divorce, I am with this amazing man who I met on a dating site. He says he loves me and really cares for me. I have moved in with him, and since then, we have continued to get to know each other.
What I have noticed whenever we go out in public is that he likes to walk behind me, and I have noticed that he gazes and stares at young beautiful women, too.
He told me he was watching porn before he met me. If he still does, I'm not sure. I have confronted him about this situation, but he denies it every time. It's like I don't exist when we go out; he only has eyes for other women.
This issue is making me think that he is just the same as my ex. They love gazing at young women, and they especially love when they gain the attention of other women when they look back at them.
When I met him, he told me that he looks at people. That's what he loves doing. This sounds really strange to me. What am I supposed to think? What must I do?
This is killing me inside because I have fallen in love with him so deeply. -- I Have Trust Issues!
Dear Trust Issues: I'm not sure if you have trust issues so much as the wrong type of men issues. Peering and gazing at younger women is uncomfortable not only for the women he is leering at but also for you. He has to stop.
Dear Annie: Your answer to "Feeling Powerless" with the Serenity Prayer was not only necessary but one of priority, in my opinion.
I've been a praying person all my life, and through the good and certainly bad times in my life, prayers have gotten me through.
We don't always understand why things happen, but we need to know that our Lord is in control and in His time, His will be done. -- Central Texas
Dear Central Texas: Thank you for your note; your faith is inspiring, especially in these difficult times.
"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.