Erika Ettin: These photos don't belong in your profile
Published in Dating Advice
As anyone who's swiped on Tinder, Hinge or Bumble can attest, some of the photos our eyes come across, well, leave a lot to be desired. In fact, the photos you choose can make or break your profile before someone even reads your bio (which will obviously be well-crafted if you’ve been taking my advice!).
In my 13+ years of helping people with their online dating profiles, I’ve seen some amazing success stories—often due to great photos, at least as the first step. But I’ve also seen too many mistakes to name… and my eyes will never be the same. Want to know which photos not to post?
1. Group Shots Galore
We get it. You’re popular! You have friends! That’s great. But if all of your photos are group shots (honestly, even if just one is), it makes it too difficult for someone to figure out who you are. If someone has to play “Where’s Waldo?”, it’s not doing you any favors. In addition, even if someone does successfully identify you, your friend may be just their type. Your profile is a chance for you to shine. Make it easy on people. You can easily crop group photos just to showcase yourself.
2. Sunglasses and/or Hats in Every Picture
I know you love those aviators, but wearing sunglasses in every photo is not doing you any favors. Your eyes are one of the most expressive parts of your face, and when someone’s looking to connect with you online, seeing your eyes can help create that connection. One photo with sunglasses might work—if you’re on a beach or out hiking—but variety is key. Same with hats… stop hiding what’s underneath. And last I checked, bald can be quite sexy!
3. Too Many Filtered or Edited Photos
I’ll admit that filters can be fun, but not in your dating profile. Filters can make you seem like you're hiding something or aren't confident about how you look. It’s OK to post flattering pictures, but they still need to be you. Keep the filters, Photoshop, and heavy editing out of your profile. The goal is for someone to recognize you when they meet you in person, not wonder if you’ve sent your stunt double.
4. Gym Selfies
Unless fitness is an integral part of your identity and you want to connect with someone who shares that passion, steer clear of the gym selfie. I know you want to show off your hard work, but there are more creative ways to showcase your active lifestyle. Why not post a picture of yourself hiking, playing tennis or playing a sport you love? That way, you're not only showing your fit side but also giving people a glimpse into what you enjoy doing in your free time.
5. Overly Sexy or Suggestive Shots
You want to look attractive in your photos, but there’s a line between sexy and overly suggestive. Posting a shirtless mirror pic or a bikini shot can send the wrong message. Remember that you're looking for a potential partner, not just someone who swipes right because they think you're hot. Access to seeing your more intimate bits should be earned and consented to.
6. Old or Misleading Photos
This might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised at how often people post photos from years ago, thinking no one will notice. While you might feel nostalgic about how you looked five years ago, or think “I haven’t changed at all!” (I hear it all the time), but, alas, we all age. Your dating profile should reflect who you are now. The right person will be interested in you as you are today, not in a past version or an illusion. Don’t set yourself up for an awkward first date by misrepresenting yourself.
7. Photos with Your Ex
I can’t believe I still have to say this, but photos with your ex should never make it into your dating profile. It sends the wrong message, making it look like you’re not quite over your past relationship... or are still in it!
The photos you post are your first impression, so make sure they're sending the right message. Choose pictures that are recent, clear, and reflective of your personality. And, most importantly, make sure they’re authentic.
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