Life Advice



Erika Ettin: Your questions answered by a dating coach

Erika Ettin, Tribune News Service on

Published in Dating Advice

Q: Someone is running hot and cold with me. What is that about?

A: When someone changes the cadence of communication (like, lots of texting then not), you can — and should — ask what’s going on. You don’t have to adapt to someone else’s indecision.

Q: How do you let a guy know you want to see him more often?

A: “I want to see you more often!” And I don’t give this advice facetiously. Oftentimes, we are scared to say what we actually want because we are afraid of the outcome or getting a response we don’t like. So we choose to live in the status quo. I encourage you to put it out there and see what happens.

Q: Have great first dates. Then he asks for a second date, then never follows up. What’s going on?

A: It could be a number of things:


1. He said what he thought you wanted to hear in the moment.

2. He truly felt it in the moment and then changed his mind or liked someone else more. (Most likely option)

3. He thinks you weren’t interested, so he didn’t ask because he didn’t want to be rejected.

Q: How do you ask someone if they have actually healed from divorce? Many haven’t.


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