In some ways, it feels like 2021 flew right by, and in others, it feels like it was the never-ending continuation of 2020. Let’s hope 2022 brings more health and happiness to much of the world.
In the meantime, I’d like to share some words of wisdom for dating in 2022:
1. Texting is the death of the first date.
When you are conversing with someone on a dating app and that person asks to switch over to direct texting on your phone instead (by giving or asking for a phone number), there is a 60% chance the date will no longer happen. (While not statistically significant, this is based on evidence from my clients’ experiences over the last 10-plus years.)
Why is this? Because someone drops the ball and doesn’t text, the plans don’t get finalized, someone texts something inappropriate, it turns into a pen pal relationship… the list goes on. Make your plans for the first date directly within the dating app. Once the date is scheduled, feel free to exchange numbers just for contingencies by saying, “In case you need to reach me tomorrow, my number is ___.” Your conversation-to-date conversion rate will be much higher.
2. You get what you allow.
If someone is treating you in a way you don’t like but you accept it, that is the treatment you will get. For example, let’s say you prefer phone calls, but the person you’re dating only texts you. If you don’t tell the other person your preferences and simply reply to all the texts, then that is what you get. You should never be shy to ask for what you need, which leads to the next point…
3. Telling someone what you need is not needy.
I hear all the time, primarily from women, that they are afraid to express their needs and expectations to their (often new) partner. That fear is mainly because they don’t want to hear an answer they don’t like. Assuming what you’re asking isn’t unreasonable, it’s up to the other person to decide whether to do that or not. If they can, great. If they can’t, then it is up to you to decide how important it is to you.
4. You can always add dinner, but you can’t take it back.