Life Advice



Erika Ettin: You're not 'still single'

Erika Ettin, Tribune News Service on

Published in Dating Advice

4. Stop comparing yourself to friends.

Your friends have different criteria and standards than you do. I love my friends, but I probably wouldn’t have picked most of their spouses! This is not a race to be won.

5. Try to enjoy being single.

No one is meant to complete you; someone should only complement you. And being in a relationship will not make you happy. That’s your responsibility. So try to look inward, do the things you love, and become the best version of yourself. That, in turn, will make you a better catch for someone in the future. And remember, when you’re single, you can kiss anyone you want… barring omicron variant risks, of course!

All that said, let’s go back to point No. 2 — dating, and subsequently, finding love, takes time and effort. So what should you be doing with that time in order to get yourself out there?


While it seems obvious, online dating is a great place to start. And I don’t mean just slapping up a profile and expecting great things. I mean taking your time to choose the best pictures you have (I recommend five total on all sites but Hinge, which requires six), crafting a profile that represents the unique person you are (and never leaving the profile section blank!), and proactively swiping, sending messages, etc.

You could also join a Meetup group for something you’re interested in, like hiking or painting or dining out. Or ask your friends to start telling you when they find interesting events in the area so you can tag along.

In the end, being single isn’t an enemy or a curse. Rather, it’s an opportunity to better yourself, figure out what you’re looking for, and then set out to find it.

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