Life Advice



Erika Ettin: Real people, real feelings

Erika Ettin, Tribune News Service on

Published in Dating Advice

I have a client in her mid-30s —we’ll call her Sam — who went on a date last week with a guy who we’ll call Jason. Sam texted me the morning after the date saying, “I had what I thought was a great date with Jason last night… Great convo and connection, talked for 3+ hours, he kissed me at the bar and when I was getting an Uber.”

Then, she wrote, in a new text message: “But then this morning, I saw he unmatched me on Bumble! And I haven’t heard from him.”

In general, when someone unmatches you on a dating app, it means there is no longer interest. Plain and simple. One would hope this would come after some explanation or notification, especially after this kind of date.

I replied: “Omg. That is terrible. I’m glad you had a great time, but I have no idea what’s wrong with people. I’m so sorry.”

I went on to ask: “You have each other’s numbers, yes?”

And what I meant by that was, “What an idiot! You think you can skulk away, but she can still reach out to you.”


Sam then asked, “Yes. But definitely not a good sign that he unmatched me, right? Not expecting to hear from him.”

To which I replied, “No, it’s not a good sign. It’s very weird.”

She continued, “Yeah… just… aggressive for no reason.”

I then asked, “Aggressive or passive?”


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