Life Advice



Erika Ettin: The quick and dirty on the dating apps

Erika Ettin, Tribune News Service on

Published in Dating Advice

It’s more than OK if you don’t know what you’re looking for off the bat. In fact, it’s often best to go into dating situations not attached to outcome, or NATO as I often tell clients, rather than to have a preconceived notion of what the outcome of the date should be. But, if you’re only looking for something serious, for example, and are not open to other options, then knowing what you’re looking for helps avoid wasted time.


It’s no secret that people are looking at your picture first … and you’re doing the same to them.

It’s important to use these five rules of thumb to make your photos stand out for all the right reasons:

1. Have at least one clear face photo. Blurry photos don’t help anyone, and they do hurt you since people want to be able to see what you look like. The first photo should always be a clear headshot.

2. Less is more. Five great photos will always win over six or more mediocre photos. People will, unfortunately, look for the one they don’t like and may decide not to message because of it. Four or five photos are recommended.


3. Be by yourself in the shot. This prevents inevitable comparison of you to friends or others. It’s also important for the viewer to know which person you are in the photos. Don’t worry that someone wonders whether you have friends! And cropping friends out is A-OK.

4. Have one photo of yourself doing something interesting. Many people have no idea what to say in the initial message, so give them one more thing to comment about, or “message bait.”

5. Be accurate. You would rather have someone meet you and think, “He/She is much better-looking than the photos,” not “Those photos were a lie.” For this reason, it’s important to include a full-body shot as well.



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