Life Advice



Erika Ettin: Your burning dating questions answered

By Erika Ettin, Tribune News Service on

Published in Dating Advice

As a dating coach, I get daily questions from clients surrounding the entire dating process. This week, I have chosen three recent questions, all very different, and my responses. If you have others you'd like me to post/answer, please feel free to reach out to


Hi Erika! Now that we've given eHarmony some time, I think I would still like to try Bumble. Over the years, I've made the mistake of dating someone exclusively much too early, so I still want to keep my options open and leave a few "waiting in the wings" in case things don't work out... and so I have a distraction. What do you think?

- Anne, 42, Chicago, IL


Do you want my honest answer? I think that's crazy! You really like the guy you're seeing! Just because you don't want to be exclusive yet (nor should you be), it doesn't mean you need to be meeting lots of other people to see if there's someone better. Is that what you're looking for ... someone better? And it's not really fair to use other people who may genuinely want to meet someone as a distraction. If I've learned anything over the years, it's to hold onto a good thing. Definitely move slowly, but why not be excited about him? Once you plant the seed of things not working, I worry that it'll become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just enjoy yourself and see what happens!



If you run across any women who I now gather are "exceptionally beautiful," please send them to me! Honestly, none have been close so far. But your efforts were just to test the online services... you did a phenomenal job, and I now know that is likely a dry hole.

- Jack, 56, Raleigh, NC



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