Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Who is worse, his allergy-denier girlfriend of her cat from hell?

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My girlfriend has a horrible cat. Most of this is her fault because she's never tried to train him out of attacking people, stealing food, and screaming continually in the night because he used to be an outdoor cat. Her parents live out in the country, and he was basically a farm cat my girlfriend brought with her to the city. She has not even had him fixed.

That sounds very judgmental, but he's a cat. You can't blame him for this stuff; it's not like he knows better.

I don't want to live with this cat. My girlfriend says my refusal to move in until the cat is gone is a "me or the cat" ultimatum. I don't think that's entirely fair; he is 18 so I can just wait out nature. I did suggest she could rehome the cat with her parents, who he used to live with, but that was the only "give up the cat" suggestion I made.

We are fighting about this a lot. It seems ridiculous to break up over a cat when we both love cats -- I mean, I don't like this one, but I'd certainly never want to see it harmed or unhappy. However, she doesn't want to start waiting for her beloved cat to die and I will not move in with this animal. So maybe ridiculous is all that's left?


I am also allergic. My girlfriend doesn't believe me because I had cats of my own as a kid, but it's usually mild enough to medicate away. This cat is, possibly from sheer force of will, more allergy-inducing than most. Not enough to endanger my life, but not pleasant to live with.

-- Ultimatum or Condition?

"I am also allergic. My girlfriend doesn't believe me":

Is it possible the cat is your guardian angel, entertainingly packaged as a feline hellbeast?


swipe to next page


blog comments powered by Disqus

Social Connections


Family Circus Mike Lester Blondie Wee Pals Diamond Lil Mike Shelton