Life Advice


Health & Spirit

It's high time to stand up to friend's temper

Carolyn Hax on

Dear Carolyn:

My friend "Kathy" is like a sister to me and would do anything for me. Her only problem is that she is really impulsive and has a bad temper.

Last weekend, my boyfriend of seven months, "Dan," went to dinner with a friend from law school who just so happens to be a woman. I didn't go because I knew they'd have more fun just the two of them, and his friend only had the one night before she had to fly out.

Kathy was in the same restaurant on a date and she saw Dan laughing and talking with a strange woman. Unfortunately, she didn't bother talking to him, just called him a cheating scumbag and dumped his water on his food. When she got home she texted me a picture of them together, and I immediately explained the situation to her and called Dan.

He wouldn't let me come over. He said the incident shook up his friend and ruined their night.

Dan now doesn't want anything to do with Kathy, but said he knows how close we are so he won't ask me to cut her off. He said he needs some time to think things over.


I haven't seen him since the incident. I'm devastated. I'm in love with Dan, which is why I think Kathy went off like she did. She texted him an apology. He won't accept it, but he also keeps telling me I have nothing to apologize for. How can I fix this so he doesn't break up with me?

-- My Problem Now

You don't "fix this" to protect yourself from a breakup -- that's just looking out for your own interests.

You fix this because someone behaved wretchedly on your behalf at others' expense, and those people need to be made whole.


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