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Health & Spirit

Overachiever son ditches fast track after college

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My son, "Ron," 27, works part time at a low-pressure, low-paying job. He has a four-year college degree my ex-wife and I paid for and he graduated with honors but has never worked in that field and shows no interest in doing so. I thought we had raised him to have a strong work ethic. He lives independently because his well-employed girlfriend, "Ann," pays most of their bills. When he visits, I do occasionally have to give him some gas or spending money, but it's not much.

My wife is very concerned that if he and Ann broke up, he'd have to move in with us or his mother, and thinks it's time for a serious father/son talk. I trust that we raised him right and he'll eventually find his direction in life. And not everyone needs to be a CEO, right? Should I talk with him or not?

-- Parent

Not. Not your business.

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And certainly not his stepmother's. Her worst-case scenario hasn't even happened -- and she can avoid it just by saying "no."

Re: Ron:

What about ending the practice of giving him gas and spending money? You can decline to be an enabler in even a small way, right?

-- Just a Suggestion

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