Pregnant woman discovers husband is already a father
Adapted from a recent online discussion.
I've been married two years and am 6 months pregnant, and up to last week I was so happy preparing with my husband, "Tom," for our first child. Only it turns out it's not his first child. He was contacted by the 18-year-old son he and his girlfriend gave up for adoption when they were in high school.
I feel so betrayed and furious that I was blindsided by this news. Tom has apologized profusely and explained he couldn't tell me because it wasn't just his news, since the ex-girlfriend is still part of his social circle. She was even at our wedding.
For our baby's sake I'm trying to stay calm, but I feel like the whole experience has been ruined for me. I could have handled this if only he had told me a long time ago, but he thought it was more important to keep a secret for a girl he dated almost 20 years ago than it was to be honest with his wife.
Every day I feel like asking him what other terrible secrets he's keeping from me.
How can we get past this so we can welcome our wonderful baby as we should?
-- My Husband Is Already a Father
Time and good counseling.
I see his point that it wasn't fully his news to disclose, but, at the same time, it was incumbent on him to go to the ex-girlfriend before marrying you to let her know he was going to tell you -- because it was your right to know.