Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Pregnant woman discovers husband is already a father

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I've been married two years and am 6 months pregnant, and up to last week I was so happy preparing with my husband, "Tom," for our first child. Only it turns out it's not his first child. He was contacted by the 18-year-old son he and his girlfriend gave up for adoption when they were in high school.

I feel so betrayed and furious that I was blindsided by this news. Tom has apologized profusely and explained he couldn't tell me because it wasn't just his news, since the ex-girlfriend is still part of his social circle. She was even at our wedding.

For our baby's sake I'm trying to stay calm, but I feel like the whole experience has been ruined for me. I could have handled this if only he had told me a long time ago, but he thought it was more important to keep a secret for a girl he dated almost 20 years ago than it was to be honest with his wife.

Every day I feel like asking him what other terrible secrets he's keeping from me.

--Sponsored Video--

How can we get past this so we can welcome our wonderful baby as we should?

-- My Husband Is Already a Father

Time and good counseling.

I see his point that it wasn't fully his news to disclose, but, at the same time, it was incumbent on him to go to the ex-girlfriend before marrying you to let her know he was going to tell you -- because it was your right to know.


swipe to next page


blog comments powered by Disqus

Social Connections


Breaking Cat News Ginger Meggs For Better or For Worse Arctic Circle Heathcliff Gary Markstein