Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Mom thinks daughter would be better off without her live-in, gamer boyfriend

Carolyn Hax on

Dear Carolyn:

My daughter is in a relationship with her high school boyfriend. They are now living together in a different state with no relatives nearby. My daughter, 25, is a people person with a bubbly personality and makes friends easily. Her boyfriend does not. He prefers to stay home, work every now and then, and stay up all night playing video games online with other gamers.

She is a hard worker with a very well-paying job and owns her own home. However, she comes home to this situation.

In fact, when they are home together, there is no communication because he is doing his "own" thing while she just sits and becomes depressed. He tells her to go out with friends but she feels guilty and refuses.

This is the only boy she has ever dated and he is smothering her. I am going for a visit soon and want to talk to her about everything. Please advise me how to start the conversation without her thinking I want to control her life.

-- Frustrated Mom

He is smothering her with suggestions that she go out with friends?


Unless there's a whole backstory here of manipulation and control by the boyfriend that you've skipped over, no one's suffocating anyone.

Your daughter has agency. She's merely squandering it alone in a chair feeling sorry for herself while the man she incompatibly clings to plays video games.


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