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Health & Spirit

Wallflower mother feels awkward at daughter's social activities

Carolyn Hax on

Dear Carolyn:

I've just crested the mid-30s hump and I still can't decide whether or not I want to try to have kids. My husband is equally agnostic. How do you know when you know, you know?

-- Bio Clock Is Ticking

You don't want -want kids, so just decide not to have them.

Then live with that decision for a while. See how it fits. It is, after all, the far easier decision to reverse if you change your mind.

Dear Carolyn:

Is it unethical or cruel of me to stop paying for cigarettes for a friend who has no job and no way to fund his own habit, knowing he will have to go through withdrawal? I've offered to fund any "stop smoking" effort he wants to try (nicotine replacement, classes, medications, etc.). I just can't afford to keep spending $350/month on his smoking.

-- Funding an Addiction

--Sponsored Video--

When you cut off his supply as you suggest, you will be giving him two choices: get smoking-cessation treatment free of charge (to him), or go cold-turkey.

If he opts for cold turkey, then that's his choice, not your cruelty.

To my mind, the more interesting question here is whether it's cruel or unethical to keep financing a habit that he cannot continue on his own and that correlates so highly with disability and early death.

========

Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.

(c) 2018, Washington Post Writers Group

 

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