Life Advice

/

Health & Spirit

Wallflower mother feels awkward at daughter's social activities

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

So I am an introvert, and it has taken me years to finally accept this and allow myself to be happy alone, rather than constantly trying to appease my extroverted family with attempts to socialize that ultimately just made me feel like a wallflower.

It isn't that I don't like people. I just don't enjoy big parties. I love small get-togethers with good friends, or even a person I don't know so well, as long as there is a chance to talk without feeling overwhelmed by the numbers.

My son is like me, but my daughter got the extrovert gene, and has more friends than hairs on her head. She seems to thrive in big crowds, and has no issues joining one and asking to play, even when she does not know them. She is still at an age in which I need to supervise her social engagements, and I often feel like the odd person out in the mother groups, who seem to know each other and can chat easily with each other while I hide behind my Kindle.

Any advice for this wallflower mother as she tries to navigate her social-butterfly daughter's activities?

--Sponsored Video--

-- Introvert

My advice for any child-rearing-related problem that (1) is not dangerous, merely taxing/annoying, and (2) will eventually go away, is to give yourself permission to piece together ways to get through it. So, yeah, Kindle.

But do step away from it sometimes for limited stretches. It'll facilitate your daughter's deeper friendships -- kids get invited many places through parents -- and model for her the importance of getting out of our comfort zones. Even if she doesn't understand it now, it's a seed for later.

Plus, you might make a few nice connections in spite of yourself that you can turn into quiet coffee visits.

...continued

swipe to next page
 

Comments

blog comments powered by Disqus

Social Connections

Comics

Diamond Lil Spectickles Red and Rover Rhymes with Orange Momma The Lockhorns