Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

A new perspective on raising children

Carolyn Hax on

While I'm away, readers give the advice.

On child-rearing, especially through difficult phases:

Rather than "teaching" children, I think parents should actually see their children as their teachers.

All of us are different and we should not expect to "know" our children; they have to teach us their strengths, and weaknesses.

Actually, parents should see their role as persevering "gold diggers" -- looking for the nuggets of gold in their children's unique personalities.

-- D.

--Sponsored Video--

On alternatives for the bridal-shower averse:

After college and graduate school my daughter moved to a distant city, where she met her husband-to-be. Their wedding was going to take place in the city where they lived.

Her maid of honor wanted to do something to celebrate, but a bridal shower didn't seem to be quite the thing. We hit on the idea of having an open house at our home to which were invited all the women who had been a part of the bride-to-be's life since birth, from Sunday School teachers and Girl Scout leaders, elementary school librarians, mothers of childhood playmates, music teachers and other special teachers, childhood playmates and high school and college friends. Her aunts came, too, and the women who would become in-laws. The theme was, "Home is where your story begins."

Some people brought gifts but others did not; they were not expected.

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