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Health & Spirit

Planning a solo trip but worried about Mom's reaction

Carolyn Hax on

But you're a midlife adult and you're going by yourself. Sharing is either need-to-know or just no.

Certainly you'll want someone to have your itinerary in case of emergency, but one's anxious, boundary-challenged mama sounds like the last person you'd ask to serve in that role.

In fact, I could argue that your mother doesn't need to know anything about your trip until after you're back. Have you run that option by your therapist?

And in general, have you talked with him or her about the gap between the healthy things you say about not being responsible for what your mother feels, and the things you're doing that read like a user manual for being enmeshed?

You've got the right ideas. You're taking on solo travel, which isn't easy for most people. Now it's time to update your relationship with your mother to reflect who you've become.

Re: Solo Traveler:

 

Go on your trip. Send you mom a postcard saying, "I'm here. Wish you were wonderful." Share pictures with her upon your return.

-- Anonymous

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