Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Holiday cheer held hostage

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My husband doesn't enjoy holidays. Everything about holidays is reluctant and grudging. He will dutifully eat any holiday meal that I plan, shop for, prepare, and clean up after, but his interest goes no farther.

I decorate, or it doesn't get done. He doesn't seem to care one way or the other.

I've asked him to do things with me, but he has such a long list of things that come first that nothing happens. Gifts are likely to be random and perfunctory, like a calendar he picked up in the grocery store. He hates wrapping, and does a minimal, sloppy job of it. We are not short of money, and he's not ungenerous about anything else.

Every year, I feel like I'm trudging uphill with him on my back. I finally suggested that we just give it a miss, but he was terribly upset. If I didn't make all this empty effort, apparently he'd feel guilty. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm worn out.

--Sponsored Video--

Holidays are no fun anymore, but I seem to be trapped in a producer role for an audience that doesn't care but won't leave the theater either. Suggestions?

-- Christmas Zero

Maybe, but first I want to say your theater analogy is genius.



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