Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

A married couple decides to survive on one salary. But who gets to quit?

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My husband and I, both unhappy in our jobs, have determined that with some strategic penny-pinching, we can live on one salary for a while. The question now is, whose salary?

The argument for my husband quitting is: He's been in his job for longer than I have, and unhappier for longer, too.

He has no idea what he'd like to do next and feels like he needs a total mental break and reset in order to figure it out.

The argument for me quitting is: I have a side business that would continue to bring in a few thousand dollars every month even if I quit my day job. I also genuinely enjoy cleaning and cooking, and I would be happy to take on the lion's share of housekeeping and errand-running, which I think would improve the quality of both of our lives.

 

My husband readily admits he would not agree to do any extra housekeeping if he was not working.

I know I'm biased, but I think the arguments for me quitting are stronger. Husband feels his are stronger. Do you have advice on how to move forward?

-- Which One Gets the Break?

I can't answer objectively because I think your husband's comfort with refusing to carry any more of the household weight if he quits his job is so profoundly entitled and glassbowlish -- to you specifically but also to the whole idea of equal human worth -- that I couldn't take his side even if it had other merit.

...continued

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