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Health & Spirit

Treating tween twins as individuals

Carolyn Hax on

And it can help on a broader, more conceptual level to be consistent in the message that different people not only have different strengths, but also that life isn't linear: being good at X now doesn't mean being good at X forever. Even if it is a forever thing, it still doesn't mean a person has cracked the code to life eternally and for all things.

This is where it's so important for parents to cultivate their own connections to their kids. When your relationship to a child is unique, then you lay a foundation for that child to see himself as an independent -- of his brother, of his brother's successes, of success in general and of others in general. Consistently nurture individuality as it emerges.

Re: Quitting:

Barring injury, our kids need to finish the "season" they signed up for. I think it's important that they follow through and don't quit. Once they are done, they never have to do it again.

-- Anonymous

 

Agreed, we have the same rule. Good catch.

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