Life Advice

/

Health & Spirit

Weighing conversion for religious boyfriend

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I am agnostic, but my boyfriend is religious. He has recently become more devoted to his religion and is not certain but thinks he will want a union in his faith, which does not allow marriage to a non-adherent.

If we were to compromise and marry outside the church, there would be serious consequences for him (read: excommunication).

We will not ask each other to abandon our beliefs, but I have volunteered to learn more about his faith and explore my options for conversion ... though honestly I doubt this is even possible for me.

Maybe you see an option we have missed? Or are we just prolonging the inevitable at this point?

-- Convert or Bust?

The standard answer for a couple with cultural/religious/political differences is that it can work if both of you believe in making it work, and if it's your priority to.

In this case, though, it sounds not only as if religion is his priority, but also that his priorities are in flux, with religion growing in importance to a degree as yet unknown.

It's not unthinkable, therefore, that you can convert, and mean it, and still not be religious enough for him to see you as his true partner.

...continued

swipe to next page
 

Comments

blog comments powered by Disqus
 

Social Connections

Comics

Fort Knox Michael Ramirez Long Story Short Arctic Circle Marvin Andy Capp