Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Standing up to divorced parents

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi Carolyn:

I'm in my teens and a few years ago my parents divorced. They often used me as a go-between for them. I know this was wrong and they shouldn't have and they said they wouldn't but they did. I had to go through therapy for this.

My problem is now they're still at it. They say, "Tell your mom/dad this and this," and if I don't ...Read more

Love interest reveals a long history of deception

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

Recently began an invigorating flirtation with a woman at work -- movies, jogging after work, dinner at home, etc. Last week she told me she'd been involved in an extended affair with a married man three or four years earlier. She was also living with another man at the time. The news came as a huge disappointment, and I'm ...Read more

Lending a hand to moms on bed rest

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My sister is 25 weeks pregnant and was just put on bed rest. She is able to work from home, and they don't have any older children or pets.

My brother-in-law asked that we all come around when possible on lunch hours, nights, and weekends to help keep her company. Our aunt made ...Read more

How to handle your sweetheart's forgiveness issues

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I am getting ready to propose to my girlfriend of three years. "Mary" is just great -- beautiful, funny, successful -- but she has major forgiveness issues. Not about little things; she never holds a grudge if I stay out late with the guys and she has to pick me up from a bar, or if I'm cranky from a bad day at work or ...Read more

Some birthday party rules for kids

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

We have hit the age of the full-class invite to birthday parties. Yet, I am unlikely to throw a full-class party. Or maybe in a few years. Is it bad form for my kid to attend if it's not a close friend and she didn't invite/won't be inviting the kid to her (very small) party? Is ...Read more

It's a red flag if your boyfriend never admits fault

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I've been seeing a lovely man for a year. We eased slowly into the relationship -- friends for months first -- as we were both still hurting after recent divorces.

We are perfectly suited in so many ways -- identical interests, shared friends, same-age children, parallel life experiences -- and we enjoy one another very much, ...Read more

Stay-at-home husband causing tensions

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hello, Carolyn:

I'm not doing well at hiding adult problems from my child. I work a full-time, stressful job with long hours while my husband is a stay-at-home dad -- which I never agreed to. I thought he was going back to work 4 1/2 years ago. I have tried to hide my resentment from my tween ...Read more

My mom 'poisoned' my girlfriend

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My girlfriend, "Cleo," is allergic to seafood. She does not carry an EpiPen because "it's not that type of reaction," but she always asks lots of questions about ingredients and preparation. My mom finds the questions insulting and believed Cleo was making up the allergy.

...Read more

Bridesmaid not allowed to bring newborn to friend's wedding

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

A good friend of 20 years -- we met in high school -- got engaged last fall and asked me to be in her wedding. I eagerly accepted. She is getting married next summer.

We met up a few weeks ago and she said they're not inviting kids to their wedding. I am newly pregnant and I also have a...Read more

Concerned about son's relationship with needy woman

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

Our son is in a serious relationship and I believe an engagement is in the offing. We like this young woman, but have reservations that I am struggling with.

It's clear our son spends a great deal of time and energy taking care of his girlfriend and making her feel secure and content, although she is rarely content for long. ...Read more

Wife's procrastination cost her the job

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

A rare and coveted job -- higher salary, growth potential, interesting work -- opened at my wife's office, and she was told it was hers if she just submitted the formal application. Wife struggles with procrastination so I tried to be helpful: "Want me to take the kids to the movies so...Read more

How to support a challenging child

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

One of my children has a challenging personality. Within my family, we are aware of it, and deal with it, and love him oh-so-much. As he is getting older, I can see how the outside world (teachers, coaches, neighbors) favors him less than my others. He's not as socially adept, athletic, comfortable around adults, etc. I don't ...Read more

Feeling guilty for unfriending a braggart on Facebook

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

In an insecure and jealous moment, I unfriended the husband, a nice man, of a more-or-less friend of mine; "frenemy" might be too strong here. She lives a charmed life by every account, and ONCE AGAIN was going to hang with her L.A.-area besties from years past at one woman's luxury digs...Read more

Pregnant woman discovers husband is already a father

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I've been married two years and am 6 months pregnant, and up to last week I was so happy preparing with my husband, "Tom," for our first child. Only it turns out it's not his first child. He was contacted by the 18-year-old son he and his girlfriend gave up for adoption when they were ...Read more

Is she selfish to seek reimbursement for moving in with her elderly mother?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My mom is still sharp as ever mentally but has become frail enough physically that she sat down with me and my two brothers and told us she no longer thinks she can handle living alone.

She asked us all about living with us, and my brothers -- both married -- said it wouldn't be feasible. I -- single -- said it might be ...Read more

Inattentive Facebooker misses news of friend's tragedy, commits faux pas

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I am a teacher at a large high school, and typically only interact with those in my wing of the school. On the first day we returned from break, I bumped into "Polly" while signing in and cheerfully asked, "How was your [vacation]?" She glared at me and stomped away. I'm sure I gave her...Read more

Mom thinks daughter would be better off without her live-in, gamer boyfriend

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My daughter is in a relationship with her high school boyfriend. They are now living together in a different state with no relatives nearby. My daughter, 25, is a people person with a bubbly personality and makes friends easily. Her boyfriend does not. He prefers to stay home, work every now and then, and stay up all night ...Read more

Grandma's penchant for calling granddaughter nicknames riles mom

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My mother-in-law, "Linda," has been calling my daughter Tootsie as a nickname since the day she was born. I have no idea where this nickname came from but it drives me crazy. I have asked her to call her by her given name so she is not confused as she grows older and to avoid possible ...Read more

Sister strives to keep her adoption secret

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

I am in the middle of a growing crisis in my extended family because of revelations from a DNA match. After getting my results, I was contacted by a woman looking for her biological family. It quickly became apparent she was the child my sister gave up for adoption 52 years ago.

I made contact with this delightful woman and was...Read more

 

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