Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Don't bring gifts to a 'no gifts' birthday party

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Most of my friends have specified "no gifts" on their invitations for their kids' birthdays and I always abide by it because: (1) Why say it if you don't mean it?; and (2) If we throw a party for my baby, I will say "no gifts" and 100% mean it.

Yet every time I go to a birthday ...Read more

Is settling for your husband OK?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Being totally in love is overrated. I have never felt that intensely about my husband and do not love him as much as I've loved exes. I certainly don't get along with my husband as well as I did with one particular ex.

But you know what? The men I did love that way either lied ...Read more

Grandma berated for disciplining grandkids

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

I have a question about an adult child, her husband, and two small children paying a two-week visit. I am still recovering from their appalling behavior and the damage done to some irreplaceable family heirlooms. My daughter seems to think they have the right to treat my home as a cheap motel, and I need to accept that children ...Read more

Niece overstays her welcome

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I agreed to it when my husband, "Steve," asked if his niece could stay with us over the summer. "Samantha" is a recent college graduate, and she's stayed with us before for one or two weeks during school breaks. We have two kids, in high school and middle school, and school is ...Read more

Grieving an imperfect mother

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My mother died recently. Ours was a complex relationship; due to earlier life traumas and later mental illness, she came across as a cold-hearted perfectionist who was always right. Asking for help or making a mistake was akin to failure. She was also rather closed-minded from a diversity perspective.

Her death has resulted in...Read more

When the price of admission at Grandma's house is marriage

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My sister is religious and believes her religion follows the true word of God. Her son, 30-plus, and his girlfriend live together and have a 1-year-old girl. They've asked to move in with mom and dad -- they have a large home -- to save money to buy a place to live.

My sister ...Read more

Mother-in-law responds to questions with silence and side-eye

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I have a lovely mother-in-law. She is an amazing grandmother and we can rely on her to do what she says she will do.

She can also be selfish and overstep boundaries, and this seems to be getting worse as she ages.

When I ask her questions like, does she want to do this or visit on this date, or when I try to establish a ...Read more

Tired of sister venting about her divorce

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My sister is getting a divorce. They're still living together and trying to be civil and remain friends, because they were friends for a long time before ever getting together. I'm glad about that, because I really like him.

But she keeps talking badly about him to me in texts ...Read more

Burdened by mother's irresponsible lifestyle

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

How do I learn not to be resentful when someone continually puts me in a bad spot?

My mother's life philosophy is, "I'm going to do what I want, when I want. That's the only way to live life." She has no regard for consequences or the position she puts others in. She was ...Read more

Mom retaliates after son quits college to pursue a trade

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My 19-year-old son who just graduated high school has suddenly decided he doesn't want to go to college. He wants to sweat and work hard, learning the electrical trade his father does for a living.

He worked hard in high school and was accepted into an elite health care program. After two classes, he told me his heart isn't ...Read more

Defrauded by new husband

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi Carolyn:

I am a 30-year-old, recently married woman. My husband and I did not get married in haste -- we went to premarital counseling and have been together six years -- but I am beginning to feel like the wool was pulled over my eyes this entire time.

I have been slowly uncovering ...Read more

The 'Billy Graham Rule' needs to go

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

What is your take on the so-called "Billy Graham Rule"? I am in my early 60s and have been married for 30 years. I have a business conference each year that is sponsored in part by one of my clients and is the premier networking event in my field. I am expected by my partners to attend.

I work closely with a female employee, ...Read more

Wife's not interested in cheating husband's epiphany

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My wife and I separated a few months ago. I had felt lonely and unsatisfied in our marriage and consequently developed feelings for another woman. My wife found out, I moved out, and I moved on with my affair partner.

It was the worst mistake of my life. Once the newness of the ...Read more

Grandpa witnesses daughter lash out at her husband over child care. Should he speak up?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My wife and I are retired and have been very fortunate in the "family" department. I have two married daughters, six grandchildren and two terrific sons-in-law.

A few days ago, one of my daughters was annoyed that her husband was not helping and really lit into him for not assisting with the kids fast enough. Her request was ...Read more

Son's life choices cause mom to wonder where she went wrong

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My adult son has been married and divorced twice. He has two children from his second marriage. He is now living with, but not married to, another woman, and they have just shared the news that they are expecting.

I am worried and heartbroken and wondering what went wrong in his...Read more

Boyfriend's best friend sends him 'breakup brigade' of attractive, single houseguests

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My boyfriend of six months has a best friend, "John," who now lives in another country, which has notorious gender inequality and poverty. We're all in our early 30s. My boyfriend was always at John's beck and call, and I sense John resents my appearance on the scene. John has ...Read more

Husband prioritizes his training schedule over his wife's health

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

My husband and I have three kids, 10, 8 and 1 (who was a surprise but is such a blessing). I gained a lot of weight in this last pregnancy. I am in my 40s and had a hard time with my pregnancy emotionally.

My husband dismissed all of my concerns. He basically said to get over it. I think I have some postpartum depression now, ...Read more

Is life not worth living after age 80?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Recently a middle-aged person told me that they wouldn't want to live past the age of 80. I'm in my mid-70s, and still working full time at a job I love in a field I'd be happy to pursue at least part time as long as I'm able -- think past 100, if I'm lucky!

My feelings are really hurt...Read more

How to eradicate your inner judge

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

Recently I was walking through the park on a warm summer night, and I came to the long overdue realization that I judge other people in my own head.

I'd really rather not. It's not good for the soul.

Now what?

-- Your Honor

Now, give your soul a checklist.

-- Forgive versus judge anything you yourself have done.

-- ...Read more

Is this a wedding or an homage to groom's alma mater?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

I got engaged last month (yay!), and my fiance and I are starting to plan our wedding. He cares more about most of the details and so is taking the lead. I'm OK with that, but it's starting to look like he is planning a wedding that reflect the things that are important to him, ...Read more

 
 

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