Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

My boyfriend’s pot use has turned me into a nag

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I’ve been in a relationship with a man for the past year and a half. He’s a wonderful guy and I love him very much. We live together and he puts up with all my faults and foibles.

Yet I’ve become what I despise -- a nag. And I don’t know how to stop being so disapproving.

My ...Read more

How to parent without yelling

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

We have a rambunctious toddler and newish baby. Both my husband and I are committed to never spank or hurt our kids, but we do yell more than I like us to. We apologize, and try to do better, but the fact remains that we yell, and I hate it.

It’s usually in response to something ...Read more

Coping with a fiancee’s paranoia

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I’ve known for a while that my parents are not my fiancee’s favorite people, and didn’t totally understand why until my fiancee recently revealed she’s still simmering over a comment my dad made over a year ago that my mom eagerly “me-too”-ed.

It was a dumb and petty comment about someone else’s appearance that ...Read more

Husband won’t accept brother-in-law’s apology

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

A year ago, my brother verbally lashed out at my husband, and my husband followed up a few days later with a long email that basically said my brother needed to get therapy and help with alcohol.

My brother called my husband to apologize, but my husband felt the apology was not ...Read more

Trust issues come between an engaged couple

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

My girlfriend and I recently called off our engagement due to some flirtatious messages she found on my phone. I can say honestly that it was an isolated incident, but her anger was compounded by my other messages with platonic girlfriends, which I feel were taken completely out of context. This was not the first time she had ...Read more

Man believes ‘affair baby’ will ruin his life

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I’m ashamed to admit I made the classic mistake of having a brief, midlife-crisis affair. I love my wife and family and quickly realized I couldn’t risk it all for a fling. Before I could end it, though, the woman I was seeing got pregnant and the result has been nothing but pain.

...Read more

British woman suspects she married an ‘arse’

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hello, Carolyn:

I’m from the U.K. I’m married to a man who is a self-professed arrogant liar. He’s proud of it. I am not.

We have been together for 20 years.

He has joined a professional networking site and sometimes he deletes his computer history but now and again I guess he forgets. I’ve always had my suspicions. He has checked ...Read more

Deciding whether or not to separate

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My husband wants to separate/divorce because of many issues that we have. He feels they are mostly my fault.

I’m not perfect but usually I only react badly if he gets angry at something I didn’t even register, or if he insists he knows what I mean or how I feel, etc., when I’m ...Read more

Sister-in-law is the queen of unsolicited advice

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I love my sister-in-law, but she is the queen of unsolicited advice. Any conversation about my work, our house, conflicts with friends, or dealing with our kids, if it includes anything relating to a problem or disappointment -- even if I have expressed no hint of being in doubt about ...Read more

Achiever mom struggles to appreciate son for who he is

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My son is 12 and, for the most part, a pretty good kid. He isn’t a standout in academics or sports and isn’t socially adept, but he has a good sense of humor.

I, on the other hand, was raised to compete. I thrive on competitions and was raised to take every opportunity to try my best. I was therefore elated when he ...Read more

Parents Shouldn’t Act As Family Go-Betweens

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My wife’s family will host get-togethers and her parents will extend invitations to them on others’ behalf.

We have a strained relationship with her extended family due to our not understanding or not following whatever social conventions they have that we haven’t lived up to. ...Read more

Standing Up To Bullying In-Laws

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I have been married for over 30 years and throughout the marriage, my in-laws have made fun of my interests and certain traits of my personality under the guise of teasing. I have never spoken up and defended myself against these comments and neither has my husband.

Only recently, I have been able to better articulate to my ...Read more

Supporting One Through A Divorce

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn!

I’m wondering if you can provide some general advice on the best way to be there for someone going through a separation/divorce. A good friend of mine, who lives far away, is starting a trial separation with her husband. While I think this is a good next step for them, they’ve been ...Read more

Thinking Of Kindling That Old Flame

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

Several years ago, I was in a long-term relationship that kind of fizzled out.

Before that both of us had talked about getting married, but it always seemed like real-world circumstances got in the way. One of her parents was sick, and she traveled constantly. The other of her parents meddled in her relationships to the point ...Read more

Should I Count On My Sister When Setting Future Plans?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My little sister (late 20’s) got married last year. Within months she found out her 30-year-old husband was cheating on her with a barely legal cashier at his job.

They tried to work things out, only for my sister to discover the affair was still going on and predated the wedding. ...Read more

Feeling Fear At The Prospect Of Divorcing

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My spouse of 15 years and I have two young kids. After several years of ambivalence and unsuccessful marriage counseling, he told me he was “done” a couple of months ago. So, I started taking steps towards separating.

And I’m freaking out and so terrified I’m doing the wrong ...Read more

How To Handle Rudeness

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My husband and I have been going to dinner nearly every Friday night for years with another couple, “Kay” and “Jay.” My husband considers Jay to be one of his best friends, and Jay is a great guy; he is smart, kind and sensitive.

For the past few years, Kay has become increasingly rude with me. She says rude things. ...Read more

Feeling Thankful In A Time Of Need

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Our apartment was flooded out in storms over the weekend, and my husband and I lost most of our stuff (insurance will not cover it). In the days since, we have been overwhelmed with support -- dozens of people here helping us sort stuff out, bringing food, offering us places to stay, ...Read more

Not Liking Grandma Treating Grandson Like A Toy

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My mother-in-law treats my son like a toy that (not who) is there to amuse her on her terms and show off to her friends. My husband and I are trying to raise our child to respect others and be attuned to others’ feelings, but how do we do this when Grandma defies all of that, especially with him?

Plus, what are the chances ...Read more

Understanding A Sibling Choosing Not To Attend Wedding

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I’m getting married in D.C. in four months, and my brother will not commit to whether he’s coming or not. Extenuating circumstances are that he lives in Hawaii, his wife had a baby this month, and they have a rocky relationship with the rest of the family.

I emailed last month ...Read more

 
 

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