Ask Amy: An in-law’s unfiltered comment leaves a mark
I have been obsessing, perhaps grieving, over this comment.
I wonder if we should stop traveling together, though this would be very painful for at least three of us.
What do you think about this? What should I say or do?
– Saddened and Hurt
Dear Saddened: The first thing you should do is examine why this comment has caused you to grieve so deeply.
My perspective is that many very happily married people are hitched to partners whom others would deem “wrong.”
Confronted with this unsolicited opinion after 50 years of happy marriage might inspire you more toward laughter than grief.
Your brother-in-law is wrong, and you took the opportunity in the moment to tell him so. Good for you!
You have a burning desire to learn why he said this, but ask yourself: What good would it do to hear a recitation of your husband’s unsuitability?
Keep in mind, too, that this comment does not mean that your brother-in-law doesn’t like your husband; just that in his (flawed) and possibly fleeting opinion, you should have married someone else.
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