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Ask Amy: One mom’s helpful friend wants out

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Now my mother-in-law is planning to give a shower in honor of her granddaughter.

If I don’t go, I feel like my husband’s family will be upset with me.

If I do go, do I have to give a gift?

It seems like a lot for a wedding I wasn’t even invited to. I mean, I am not invited, but my money seems to be.

– Cold Showered

Dear Showered: If you are not invited to the wedding, you shouldn’t be invited to the wedding shower. That is basic logic, as well as basic etiquette.

 

So first you’d need to determine if you are actually invited to the shower.

If you are invited and don’t want to attend (completely understandable), you should simply have something else to do that day. Don’t act out, don’t huff and puff over the indignity of it all – just, be busy that day.

If your husband’s family has the gall to be upset with you over this, well – this is just a pain they will have to learn to live with.

You should not be nervous about earning their esteem.

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