Ask Amy: Eye popping hot tub hopping in the offing
I want to be there for my friend, but don't know if that would be disloyal to my wife.
This wedding is in another state and would require two overnight stays.
My friend would completely understand if I don't go, but I worry that I shouldn't allow my wife to dictate my actions this way.
Any suggestions?
– Wedding Wondering
Dear Wondering: Your wife has the personal right to continue her estrangement from her former best friend, but she does not have the right to insist that you maintain an estrangement from your own close friend.
Your wife’s ex-friend has made a number of bids to win your wife’s attention, and inviting you both to this important family celebration is a major effort on their part (how many grandparents have the license to invite their own friends to a grandchild’s wedding?). Attending would obviously also be a major effort on your part.
In my opinion, attending this wedding would not demonstrate disloyalty to your wife, but in your household my opinion will not matter all that much.
Dear Amy: I applaud your response to J in NY, the uncle who feels a child should hug an adult even when uncomfortable.
I was raised in the generation who believed children should make other people happy and allow unwanted touching, even when uncomfortable.
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