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Ask Amy: Cinderella’s gown creates a friendship fracas

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I have been severely unhappy for about five years, but even before that my unhappiness was building.

Now, I am attracted to someone else and want to leave the marriage. I am determined to leave.

In the meantime, should I reveal how I feel to this person I‘m attracted to?

I think he feels the same way toward me but holds back because I’m still married.

I have told him I’m not happy and that my husband and I are sleeping in separate rooms. But the bottom line is that I’m still married.

What do you think I should do?

 

– Sad and Depressed

Dear Sad: You have stated that you are leaving your very long relationship, and yet the question you ask is really about embarking on a new relationship.

People do often leave an already unhappy relationship only when someone else comes along – giving them the emotional incentive to leave. It is easier to leave when you believe you are moving toward something positive that feels life-affirming and exciting.

You should also ask yourself: If this other man does not reciprocate your feelings, would you choose to stay in your marriage? Are you willing and able to go it alone?

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