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I’m cordial when I see him, but can’t get over/accept his behavior.
I understand that he, like many, has issues with his upbringing, but I think this goes way beyond “normal.”
Do I need to “forgive and move on,” or are there some actions that make a relationship beyond repair?
– Devastated Sister
Dear Sister: The way you describe him, your brother is extremely angry, and also holding onto some dangerous notions – directed at your father.
I agree with you that “Wendell’s” actions as you describe them are intolerable.
In this situation, I vote for understanding and clarity before forgiveness.
“Understanding” means that you should understand that your brother is not to be trusted.
You needn’t contemplate forgiveness unless he acknowledges and apologizes for his hostile behavior.
He doesn’t seem likely to do that, and so you should be extremely wary, especially regarding any attempts to be with your father and/or manipulate your mother.
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