Life Advice

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Health

Ask Amy: Mom’s financial infusion harms her

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

My fear is that when I finally say no to one of his requests, that will be the time that he actually needs it.

No one knows how much I have sacrificed and given up for him – not even my partner. I am too embarrassed to tell anyone.

– Newly Poor Mom

Dear Poor: You know that you should not give your son money, and so the next time he asks, you should offer to meet him in person in order to share a meal with him or give him food.

If he is involved with a church community, you could reach out to the leadership to thank them for how they’ve assisted him in the past, and ask what resources might be available to him now.

Do NOT give him cash – ever. Your practice of doing this has impoverished you and might have contributed to his problems.

 

Do not give up on him.

A clinical social worker could work with both of you to connect him with supportive programs and resources for someone with his particular challenges. He sounds like a savvy survivor, but he desperately needs some job and life skills coaching and support.

You must tell your partner about this. Your financial secrecy will hurt an important intimate relationship, at a time when you need personal support.

Dear Amy: What is it with all these huggers?

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