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Ask Amy: Estrangement from family is hard to describe

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

If people dig for reasons, you can say, “I just needed to take a break. That’s all. But you should get in touch with them. I bet they’d like to hear from you.”

Dear Amy: I was diagnosed with cancer six months ago. I’m in treatment.

Many people near and far know this. (Fewer know about my recent bout with COVID and my slow recovery.)

My job was eliminated during the pandemic, but some friends, relatives, and former co-workers have not said a single word to me during this time.

Others were supportive at first but have been very quiet in recent months.

Is it ever OK to express my hurt, particularly to family members I've listened to in the past? I'm really disgusted at this point.

 

– Sick And Tired

Dear Sick: It is always OK to tell people how you feel, as long as you don’t attach specific expectations to their response.

But before expressing your disgust or disappointment, you could ask for what you want: “I’m still struggling through my cancer treatment and could really use some support right now. Are you available to take me to my chemo treatment next week?”

The American Cancer Society (cancer.org) has a database of support groups.

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