Ask Amy: A veterinarian never gets used to animal loss
I feel like no one will ever know me because she is still always there at all the functions.
We have a graduation party to go to and she is also invited to that.
I don't have a problem with her personally, but would like to experience family things with just that ... family.
Am I being too much?
– The Now Wife
Dear Wife: Your husband’s ex has remained very close with his family – and this could be a nice result for families that can manage it. Most can’t.
But think of it this way: If she was a sister-in-law or close family friend who was present at every family gathering, her presence wouldn’t prevent you from getting to know everyone any more than any other individual’s presence would.
Basically, I’m suggesting that you ignore her status as your husband’s long-ago ex, and concentrate on your own best behavior.
Be cool, be calm, ask good questions, and let your in-laws see your sparkle.
You will further cement these relationships by hosting some of your in-laws at your own home in smaller groups (it is not necessary to invite your husband’s ex). Little by little, absent these larger gatherings, you would build experiences with them individually.
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