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Ask Amy: This loving couple must learn to talk

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I have been married to my husband for 10 years. We have a 5-year-old son.

My husband is fantastic; however, he takes zero interest in what is going on in my life. He never asks me how my day is, or wants additional details about anything, even if he knows that something important is going on.

I have expressed this frustration multiple times, and he may ask once, but he’ll never ask again.

I will ask him about his day, and he always says, “the usual.”

How can I get him to care about what is going on in my life?

– Bewildered

 

Dear Bewildered: Most of us learn our communication styles from our family of origin. Your husband may have learned very early on that staying quiet was the best course for him.

You see this as him not caring about what is going on in your life.

I see this as the two of you not knowing how to engage in intimate spoken communication. It takes practice.

Just because you love and care about each other doesn’t mean that you can read one another’s minds.

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