Ask Amy: A grandson’s prom gown horrifies his grandmother
Dear Devastated: I have a blunt question for you: Are you going through a phase, or will you always be like this?
I hope it’s a phase.
Yes, you worry. Yes, you fret. But the role of a grandparent is actually so simple: All you have to do is to love your grandchildren – exactly as they are, exactly as they present to you; through phases, representations, or revelations – and through whatever joys or challenges they encounter.
Can you imagine the impact on this family if you just simply loved and accepted all of them, no matter what?
You might not understand why your grandson would make the choice to go to the prom wearing what sounds like an amazing outfit. But that sullen teenager left his bedroom, got dolled-up, and took himself to the prom!
(I wish I’d had an ounce of that kind of courage at his age.)
Furthermore, his father is his ally! Give yourself credit for raising a man who is a good parent.
This family is receiving professional support (another very wise choice).
Your only job here is to find a way around your own fears, and to relieve yourself of the burden to judge this family – and instead to love all of them, just as they are.
Dear Amy: I moved to a different state in 2019 and have made one friend.
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