Ask Amy: A fire brings on Grandma’s solid ‘burn’
Please give me some guidance here. I’m torn between family duty, and giving this young person a lesson they’ll not forget.
– Offended Gran
Dear Gran: You could play this two ways: Don’t respond at all, and don’t do anything, forcing “Sal” to contact you directly regarding the money.
The second response would be to craft a short, warmly-worded email (lose the sarcasm): “You’ve given me many moments of pride as I’ve watched you grow into an adult. This is not one of them. I know you’ve been through a lot, but there are times through life when it is vital that you remember to treat others as you would like to be treated. This IS one of them. My friends and I rallied and answered a need. When you can figure out how to respond to this generosity with gratitude, I’ll be happy to send these funds to you. I’d also be happy (with my friends’ permission) to donate it to your town’s fire and rescue squad. You decide. Love always, Gran. PS: I figured out how to use Venmo!” (It’s easy!)
Dear Amy: I am a well-educated woman, recently retired from a good profession.
After I retired, I was trained in another field: horticulture.
My husband, trained in mechanical issues, ignores any information or advice I provide to help him with “his” plants.
Why can I give advice to hundreds of gardeners a month, but not my spouse?
– Dedicated Master Gardener
Dear Dedicated: The reason you can give welcome and appreciated advice to hundreds of gardeners each month is because you aren’t married to them.
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