Ask Amy: Group chat leads to group dilemma
I am starting to get antsy knowing this information is in everyone's head except Maggie's! I feel terrible for her. I feel wrong stepping in but I just feel she needs the information.
Do I drop it? Is it out of line to send an anonymous letter or something?
I don't want to cause more drama or confusion, only inform.
– Fretting
Dear Fretting: My first piece of advice is that you should all stop discussing this as a group. This has descended into the realm of personal gossip.
The obvious solution would have been for “Jane” to respond to “Jed’s” swipe, saying, “Dude, I know your wife!”
Otherwise, all you know is that this man is posing as an unmarried man and “swiping right” while out of town. While I agree that this is dishonest and definitely a violation of most relationship norms – this is all you know.
You might be the right person to put this to rest, because you don’t have an extant relationship to protect, and it is obviously bothering you.
If you decide to contact her, you should only tell her, “A single woman I know saw ‘Jed’s’ profile on a dating app. I don’t know anything more than that, but after wrestling with this dilemma, I’ve decided to tell you.”
Otherwise – drop it.
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