Life Advice



Ask Amy: Group chat leads to group dilemma

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My friend “Jane” recently texted our group of girlfriends with information concerning another girlfriend, “Maggie.”

Jane told us all that she was using a social media dating app while out of town for business and Maggie’s husband “Jed” (also out of town for business) "swiped right" on Jane.

The screenshots she shared with us showed that he had set up his profile to appear single.

Jane asked for advice on what to do with this. We have long suspected Jed was no good, but we also acknowledge this couple could have an open relationship.

Either way, we felt it best that Maggie have the information.

Jane and I don't know Maggie well, but another woman in the group, “Susan,” does.


Susan agreed to pass this information on to Maggie discreetly and tactfully. Unfortunately, it's been months, and we just learned that Susan never told Maggie because it makes her uncomfortable.

My husband, also close with Maggie, then said that he would tell her instead.

He also hasn't followed through, citing the same reason.

I went back to the source and asked Jane to notify Maggie, and she also declined, saying it "wasn't her place."


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