Ask Amy: Grandmother’s problems should prevent visits
He never does.
Should I just let it go, or do you agree that saying, “I’m going to listen to music now” is such a huge ask?
I suspect I’m not the only one with this peeve.
– Falling on Deaf Ears
Dear Falling: It occurs to me that the modern ability to enjoy personal entertainments has passively resolved many disputes over who controls the remote. (Remember those?)
Your husband might believe that saying, “I’m going to listen to music now” would interrupt your flow and your enjoyment. He wants to sit alongside you and experience a parallel enjoyment.
Maybe you should just assume that at some point during your evening routine he will pop in the old earbuds – so you can double-check with him by tapping on his knee: (“Hey, do you have your earbuds in?”) before you try to start a conversation.
Dear Amy: No no no! I could not believe your response to “Charlie,” who had three photos of his long-ago ex-wife taken during their youth in a photo album.
Charlie’s wife wanted him to destroy these photos and you suggested that he completely disregard her discomfort and wishes! This is not how to stay happily married, Amy. I’m very surprised.
– Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: My response to “Charlie” inspired a wave of universal “NO, NO, NO” from readers. (Finally, everybody agrees on one of my answers!)
I was overly focused on the idea of “destroying” these photos.
But yes – removing them from the album would be a good idea.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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